This blog was created to serve as an inspiration to all who read aspire, to love and to live a life of purpose.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Dear NwaVic, My Boyfriend's Distance is Beyond Physical

Dear NwaVic,

I just read your post on long distance relationships and I loved itI am currently in a LDR and it has gotten to the scary part. Since I got back to school my boyfriend has been a bit off. He doesn't check up on me as frequently as he used to and whenever I checkup on him it takes him long hours to reply. Most times he's never in the mood to chat. I'm getting really worried.

Dear A,

Thank you for writing NwaVic at  Your question is a tough yet common one because while you have ample cause to be worried. But it's in times like this that you need to trust your instincts. Like I said in my Long Distance Relationship post, in order for long distance relationship to work, both parties have to be fully committed to making up for the physical distance any way they can. Let's give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, he could have valid reasons to be distracted...he may be busy with work or going through a life transition or hardship that is occupying his mind and attention away.  He may also feel smothered in the relationship or be bored generally. But the realist part of me begs to insinuate that despite those reasons, he should be open enough with you to tell you that. 

If I were in your shoes, I'd confront him about it and have an in-person conversation. You should arrange to visit him. The purpose of this visit is to "do your part", which is very important for your peace of mind if the relationship doesn't work out. You can do this two ways and I'd give you the pros and cons of each. The first option is to surprise him by showing up. The pro here is that for your benefit, you can catch him unaware and see for yourself what is distracting him, if any. Then, you can talk with him. The con is that you may see what you are not ready to accept, another woman perhaps. More so, he may be angry with you for just showing up. But you know your man better. Does he like surprises? A way to mitigate the "con" is do it under the disguise of a special event. Is his birthday or an anniversary coming up? If so, you can use it as a disguise for your surprise *evil laugh*

The second way to plan a visit is to plan it "with" him. Pay attention to his reaction when you insist on a weekend together. That alone will tell you quite a bit. If you can afford it, make it a getaway so you can have enough alone time to talk. If you're able to get him to agree, it'll be the perfect time to have a conversation. Tell him your concerns and encourage him to be open with you. No matter what, without getting "in his face", don't leave that conversation without making it clear to him that his doing better is the only way your relationship would survive this hiccup. Be prepared that his withdrawal may be a cry for space or a breakup. Believe it or not, some (cowardly) men do this to "send a message" and torment their girl into doing the break up herself. 

It's enough that a couple is physically distant from each other. If one person makes it so that you're emotionally distant as well, the relationship cannot survive. Besides, you don't deserve a man you need to "pester" for attention. Again, time and effort are essential investments for the relationship. If he's not doing it, the hard truth is that he may not care enough. In the end, you may need to pull back, give him space and  just focus on you. If he needs you enough, he'll bounce back and come find you. If not, there'll be someone else who would.

Best of Luck!

Stay Inspired...

 NwaVic – | |Twitter & Instagram @nwavicesq

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Red Carpet Fashion+ Full List of Winners: The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

Check out Red Carpet pictures and full list of winners from The 2014 MTV Movie Awards which is being held at the Nokia Theatre LA Live today April 13, 2014 and hosted by Conan O'Brien.
 Jared Leto
Mila Kunis
Lupita Nyong'o
 Adrian Grenier 
 Actress Amber Stevens
 Arden Cho
 Rochelle Deanna Karidis, recording artist A.J. McLean of the Backstreet Boys, recording artist Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys and Leighanne Littrell
   Actress Holland Roden
Actress Bailey Buntain
Actor David Hasselhoff (R) and Hayley Roberts
Dancer Karina Smirnoff 
 Briana Evigan 
 Chris Pratt
 Greer Grammer 
 Iggy Azalea 
 Jwoww and Snooki
 Jessica Alba
 Kat Graham
 Katie Stevens 
 Lenay Dunn
 Max Carver 
 Michael J. Willett 
 Nick Lachey
 Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi 
 Rita Ora
 Rocsi Diaz
 Seth Rogen
 Teo Halm 
 Ian Bohen 
 Pat Curran 
 Poppy Jamie
 Rachel Antonoff 
 Christopher Boykin 
 Actress Sara Gilbert (L) and musician Linda Perry 
 Bella Thorne
 Charlamagne Tha God & Carly Aquilino
 Beau Mirchoff
 Debby Ryan 
 Drake Bell a
 Nikki Deloach 
 Shailene Woodley 
 Actor Gregg Sulkin
 Jenni 'Jwoww' Farley
 Molly Tarlov 
 Tyler Oakley
 Jackson Nicoll 

 Jillian Rose Reed
 Christine Teigen
 Leslie Mann
 Ellie Goulding 
 Pia Mia Perez
 Tyler Hoechlin
 Nicki Minaj
 Conan O'Brien & wife Liza Powel 
 Trevor Jackson 
 Victoria Justice
 Actor Will Poulter
Zac Efron

Best Movie: Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Best Fight: Orlando Bloom and Evangeline Lilly Vs. The Orcs, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Best Female Performance: Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Best Male Performance: Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Best Kiss: Will Poulter, Jennifer Aniston, and Emma Roberts, We’re the Millers
Best Shirtless Performance: Zac Efron, That Awkward Moment
Best Villain: Mila Kunis, Oz: The Great and Powerful
Best Comedic Performance: Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
Best On-Screen Transformation: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Breakthrough Performance: Will Poulter, We’re the Millers
Best Musical Moment: Backstreet Boys, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, and Craig Robinson, This Is the End
Trailblazer Award: Channing Tatum
MTV Generation Award: Mark Wahlberg

Sources: Huffington Post and HollywoodLife.