This blog was created to serve as an inspiration to all who read aspire, to love and to live a life of purpose.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas!

This is just to wish you and yours....


May your day be filled with as much magic is there was in Bethlehem when there was when Jesus was born. May your day be filled with peace and happiness. May your best gift be that of unending favor. And may the magic of the season light up your life.
......................................................................................Today and Always!

Stay Inspired...

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Self-Worth, Self-Esteem & Something In-Between

This post is for the ladies. It is a wake-up call for those who are slumbering in dwindling self-esteem.
Most women have a high endurance level- You can easily say we were born that way. This explains our ability to bleed for days every month and not die. This explains our ability to carry another being around for 9 whole months, produce them and keep it moving. This is why a woman can be sick and still cook, clean and go to work like its nothing. But when a man is sick, he automatically transforms into the biggest baby ever. I know that sounds very sexist but its a fact- one I've witnessed and many women can attest to. But I digress.
For some women, their high endurance level translates to high tolerance for degradation. Self-value is not rooted in beauty, professional achievement or in your ability to familiarize with people whom you consider more “valuable” than yourself.  You won't find your self-worth in the mirror, on your resume or in the amount of likes on your Facebook or Instagram pictures. It's this misplaced self-worth meter that has left perfectly beautiful and intelligent women stuck, by their own volition, in abusive or unfaithful relationships, for example. The truth is that self-worth can only be found within and once you find it, you can't anyone steal it by making you settle for less than what you deserve in life.
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, if you don’t know your worth, how do you expect any man to? A common exemplary scenario is playing the “waiting” game.  How long will you “date” a man before he is willing to commit to being your “boyfriend”? What we sometimes fail to realize is just how fragile the term “boyfriend” really is. I mean, it could be broken with simple words “Its over”, “I’m done”, “I don’t think this is working out”, etc. If you wait this long for him to commit to being your boyfriend, how much longer do you think you’ll wait for him to make you his fiancĂ©? Then, how long do you think you’ll need to wait for him to go visit your father?
If you start waiting at such an early stage, you will continue to do so.  If he won’t make such a light commitment, then how do you expect him to make heavier ones? Don’t let anyone tell you any different…if a man doesn’t want to keep you, sleeping with him, cooking for him and “silently hoping” for an epiphany will not get you your fairytale. #JustSaying
You will be only be used as long as you let yourself be used. Human beings are flawed; that’s why we are called "human". No matter how much you think a person “cares” for you, if they know your value but realize you are oblivious to it, they will most likely take advantage of it for as long as they can. So when people successfully “use” you, don’t blame them, blame yourself.
YOU should be YOUR #1 fan. Consider yourself your own lawyer and advocate of life….Believe you are beautiful. Believe you’re smart. Believe you are capable. Believe your worthy. Most importantly, believe this- there can never be another YOU.  If you truly believe that, it’s the one thing no one can take away from you.
Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide. ~Marva Collins
Besides, when you believe those things about yourself, humbly ofcourse, it will be apparent in the way you carry yourself, the way you talk and eventually in the way people see you. Believe it or not, your confidence in yourself is what inspires others’ confidence in you. People will treat you how you treat yourself. Its simple logic: if you think you are a loser, you will carry yourself like a loser and people will see that and treat you like a loser.
I must say knowing your self-worth does not mean being arrogant. Here’s the difference…knowing self-worth is quiet confidence in your value, seeking happiness from things that make you special and never letting anyone steal that from you. On the other hand, arrogance is loud confidence and is a result of finding happiness in the flaws of others. See the difference?
If you don't remember anything else, remember these: First, what matters is not what they call you, it's what you answer to. Secondly, the only person who is absolutely required to love you unconditionally is you. If you cant do that job, why should anyone else?
Lastly, "Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets." 
~Clark Moustakas
Learn to love and appreciate yourself and what you can offer to those who love you. Even besides successful relationships, your belief in your value is your motivation to take bold steps and risks in pursuit of your goals in life.
The strongest single factor in acquiring abundance is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it. ~ Jerry Gillies
So, the next time you are pushed out, literally or metaphorically, dust yourself up and remind yourself that being a "confident you" is not only your individual right and obligation, it's one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Truly, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
Stay Inspired....
NwaVic – | |Twitter & Instagram @nwavicesq

Friday, December 6, 2013

Ode to a Legend: 21 Inspiring Facts about Nelson Mandela

Yesterday, Nelson "Madiba" Mandela, a man known for his conviction, courage and "lack of bitterness" died at 8:50 p.m. (1:50 p.m. ET) in his home in Houghton, Johannesburg surrounded by family. Yesterday, the world lost a legend.

It can be easily said that Mandela was one of the greatest men that ever lived. He was not only an inspirational figure, he was a man of extraordinary patience, wisdom and zeal. It takes a special kind of person to spend 27 years in prison, and upon release not only forgive those who caused his pain, but use it to make the world better.
“Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end.” —From a letter to Winnie Mandela, 1975
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
In the wake of his passing, world leaders have made statements testifying about to the great man who became South Africa's Black President. The U.N. Security Council called Mandela "a giant for justice and a down-to-earth inspiration", Irish leader Enda Kenny said Mandela's name "became synonymous with the pursuit of dignity and freedom across the globe" and British Prime Minister tweeted, "a great light has gone out in the world....Nelson Mandela was a hero of our time." Ex-Presidents George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton also reacted calling Mandela "a man of tremendous moral courage" and "a man of uncommon grace and compassion, for whom abandoning bitterness and embracing adversaries was not just a political strategy but a way of life", respectively.

President Obama chimed in, "We've lost one of the most influential, courageous and profoundly good human beings that any of us will share time with on this earth...He no longer belongs to us. He belongs to the ages."

In celebration of the life of an honorable man, here are 21 inspiring facts you may not know about Mandela;

1. He was born as Rolihalahla Dalibhunga Mandela.

2. After his baptism, a teacher gave him the name Nelson.

3. He grew up in the small village of Qunu which had no roads or footpaths and people lived in huts.

4. His father, Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa, was a counselor to the royal house of the Thembu tribe.

5. His father died when he was nine and he was adopted by the Thembu regent, Chief Jongintaba Dalindyebo.

6. He was the first member of his family to attend school.

7. He, alongside Oliver Tambo started South Africa's first black-run law firm where they assisted blacks who had disobeyed Apartheid-era laws.

8. He was known as an expert in disguising himself as a chauffeur, chef or fieldwork to avoid arrest.

9. The day he was arrested in 1962,  he was wearing a chauffeur outfit.
10. Once, he fled from Johannesburg to escape an arranged marriage.

11. He was a big sports fan, especially boxing and soccer, even in prison.

12. As covered in the 2009 movie Invictus, he used sports to bridge racial gaps in South Africa.

13. Invictus was named after a poem by William Ernest Henley that inspired Mandela during his 27 years in prison.

14. Mandela was sentenced to life in prison, and not death, because he gave a courtroom speech about his willingness to be executed that caught international media attention.

15. In prison, he and the other prisoners used secret notes to each other as a method to organize a hunger strike in an effort to make their living conditions better.

16. In 1985, South African President P.W. Botha offered Mandela a chance to get out of prison on the condition that he renounced armed struggle. But he declined based on principle. He believed that as a prisoner, he was in an unfair position to enter into a contract; "only free men can negotiate".

17. In 1992, he recited one of Malcolm X's speeches in the Spike Lee Film "Malcolm X" but refused to say the words "by any means necessary".

18. Based on his biography, because of the policies Mandela put in place during his presidency, "Three million people were connected to telephone lines and safe drinking water, 1.5 million children were brought into the education system, 500 clinics were upgraded or built, two million people were connected to the electricity grid and 750,000 houses were built providing shelter for nearly three million people."
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
19. Over his lifetime, he won over 250 awards, including honorary degrees from over 50 universities worldwide. He was also the first living person to be an honorary Canadian citizen and the last person to receive the Lenin Peace Prize from the Soviet Union.

20. In 2005, Mandela's son Makgatho Mandela, died of AIDS.

21. In 2009, the United Nations pronounced July 18 (Mandela's birthday) as Nelson Mandela International Day to honor Mandela's legacy and promote community service.
Mandela lived long. Even though, he was not a perfect man, having been married 3 times (2 of which ended in divorce), he lived a meaningful life. He was only a human who emerged as a hero of our lifetime. He fathered six children and 17 grandchildren and a good number of great-grandchildren but he has been called a "father of South Africa".
“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment”
Madiba lived 95 years on earth but his legacy lived on. Like African Activist and U2 singer Bono, put it, "It was as if he was born to teach the age a lesson in humility, in humor and above all else in patience".

In his own words:
"Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity."
Rest in Peace Madiba. Thank you for living a life that will always inspire us all.
Stay Inspired,

NwaVic – | |Twitter & Instagram @nwavicesq

Sources: USA Today and NY Mag.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Dear NwaVic, How Can I Marry Someone I Easily Get Tired of?

Dear Nwavic,

So I have a faithful, supportive and good lady who by all right is a wife material. My understanding of love though is quite different from hers. She wants me to always show it in action and words (something I always try to do in my own capacity but it doesn't seem to be enough for her), she calls me way too much (like every other hour), she always wants to visit and spend as much time as she has but I always get tired of having her around. I am a very conservative person and her own personality seems to be a burden on me. I love her but when I think of all the stress, I just feel like quitting. We are currently not on talking terms and I don't even miss her. What can I do? Pls don't publish my name. Thanks. 

Yours sincerely,

Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for writing Dear NwaVic at Your situation is one that requires a lot of self-refelction and self-truth. Love, standing alone, is not enough for a marriage. This is something I learned from Pastor Irukwu's 7 Keys to a Successful Marriage which I blogged about last year. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, emphasis on the word "lifetime". A person can be perfect wife material but you have to marry the person who is a perfect wife material for you. It is important that a married couple share similar life views and goals. It's what greases the wheels of any relationship. If you can't stand her now or don't miss her when she's gone, what will happen 10 or 20 years down the line? 

Here's what I think you should do. Get two pieces of paper and a pen. On one, write out the things you like about her and draw you to her. On the other one, write out the things you want in a lifetime partner/wife. Then compare the two. You should be looking out for common traits down the road that will KEEP you loyal to her. Marrying someone who constantly annoys you or is overbearing is not only a disservice to you but to her as well. I would suggest you talk to her about it but that would mean requiring her to change not for herself, but for you- which can be unfair to her, in itself. You should also read my post on 7 Signs You're Ready to Get Married. It'll also help you assess your relationship. When you make a decision, be ready to stick with it and its consequences, if any. Above all, follow your heart's intuition- do what gives you peace and if you're not missing her when she's gone, that may be all the hint of peace you need. Best of Luck!

Stay Inspired,
NwaVic |Twitter & Instagram @nwavicesq