I have been seeing this guy lately and he is quite obsessed with me. We talk every day, spending hours on the phone and at same time, we text each other always. I never told him that I love him but anytime we finish discussing on the phone, he sends me a kiss and tells me that he loves me, that he can go to any extent for me. I am confused because we were high school love birds but moved to different countries. My question is since I love him and think about him always, should I tell him now that I love him? He prays for us both over the phone and we are quite same age. I am so confused about what to do. I love him so much but too weak to let him know which I already think that he does know.
Dear Worried Mind,
Thanks for your email. I handled a similar issue a couple of months ago. You can read it here.
If we were having this conversation in person, I'd ask some clarifying questions like, how old are you? How long have you been dating this guy? You say that you've been seeing the guy lately, but then you say you were high school love birds. Why are you afraid of saying you love him? Is it his age? Is he too obsessed with you? Is it the distance?
Without any alarming answers to those questions, there's a simple answer to your question. If you're sure you love him, go ahead and tell him you do.
Here's how to be sure. Ask yourself these questions: Do you think about him when your mind wanders? (I think you said yes to this) Does he make you happy? Do you have an innate urge to make him happy? Do you know each other's flaws and accept them? Do you smile when you think about him? What's his life-plan? Are you guys on the same "future" page?
If these questions can be answered in the positive, you more-likely-than-not love him. You could go ahead and say it back. Love is always a risk because we fear it will render us vulnerable. It doesn't have to be that way. From what I gather, this is a guy who's into you and loves you because he tries to make you feel special, wants to talk to you all the time and makes you a part of his daily life. So, telling him you love him back will probably free you of confusion and weakness, and the feeling of relieve you'd get will make the "love-risk" worth taking.
Having said all that, please stop worrying. It won't solve a thing. There is no pressure. Don't rush yourself. If you feel you need more time, take it till you're 100% ready to say it. True love IS patient.
I really hope this helps. Good luck!
*Email firstname.lastname@example.org with any further issues, concerns, questions, suggestions for a prompt and neutral response/advice. :-)