This blog was created to serve as an inspiration to all who read aspire, to love and to live a life of purpose.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Self-Worth, Self-Esteem & Something In-Between

This post is for the ladies. It is a wake-up call for those who are slumbering in dwindling self-esteem.
Most women have a high endurance level- You can easily say we were born that way. This explains our ability to bleed for days every month and not die. This explains our ability to carry another being around for 9 whole months, produce them and keep it moving. This is why a woman can be sick and still cook, clean and go to work like its nothing. But when a man is sick, he automatically transforms into the biggest baby ever. I know that sounds very sexist but its a fact- one I've witnessed and many women can attest to. But I digress.
For some women, their high endurance level translates to high tolerance for degradation. Self-value is not rooted in beauty, professional achievement or in your ability to familiarize with people whom you consider more “valuable” than yourself.  You won't find your self-worth in the mirror, on your resume or in the amount of likes on your Facebook or Instagram pictures. It's this misplaced self-worth meter that has left perfectly beautiful and intelligent women stuck, by their own volition, in abusive or unfaithful relationships, for example. The truth is that self-worth can only be found within and once you find it, you can't anyone steal it by making you settle for less than what you deserve in life.
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, if you don’t know your worth, how do you expect any man to? A common exemplary scenario is playing the “waiting” game.  How long will you “date” a man before he is willing to commit to being your “boyfriend”? What we sometimes fail to realize is just how fragile the term “boyfriend” really is. I mean, it could be broken with simple words “Its over”, “I’m done”, “I don’t think this is working out”, etc. If you wait this long for him to commit to being your boyfriend, how much longer do you think you’ll wait for him to make you his fiancé? Then, how long do you think you’ll need to wait for him to go visit your father?
If you start waiting at such an early stage, you will continue to do so.  If he won’t make such a light commitment, then how do you expect him to make heavier ones? Don’t let anyone tell you any different…if a man doesn’t want to keep you, sleeping with him, cooking for him and “silently hoping” for an epiphany will not get you your fairytale. #JustSaying
You will be only be used as long as you let yourself be used. Human beings are flawed; that’s why we are called "human". No matter how much you think a person “cares” for you, if they know your value but realize you are oblivious to it, they will most likely take advantage of it for as long as they can. So when people successfully “use” you, don’t blame them, blame yourself.
YOU should be YOUR #1 fan. Consider yourself your own lawyer and advocate of life….Believe you are beautiful. Believe you’re smart. Believe you are capable. Believe your worthy. Most importantly, believe this- there can never be another YOU.  If you truly believe that, it’s the one thing no one can take away from you.
Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide. ~Marva Collins
Besides, when you believe those things about yourself, humbly ofcourse, it will be apparent in the way you carry yourself, the way you talk and eventually in the way people see you. Believe it or not, your confidence in yourself is what inspires others’ confidence in you. People will treat you how you treat yourself. Its simple logic: if you think you are a loser, you will carry yourself like a loser and people will see that and treat you like a loser.
I must say knowing your self-worth does not mean being arrogant. Here’s the difference…knowing self-worth is quiet confidence in your value, seeking happiness from things that make you special and never letting anyone steal that from you. On the other hand, arrogance is loud confidence and is a result of finding happiness in the flaws of others. See the difference?
If you don't remember anything else, remember these: First, what matters is not what they call you, it's what you answer to. Secondly, the only person who is absolutely required to love you unconditionally is you. If you cant do that job, why should anyone else?
Lastly, "Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets." 
~Clark Moustakas
Learn to love and appreciate yourself and what you can offer to those who love you. Even besides successful relationships, your belief in your value is your motivation to take bold steps and risks in pursuit of your goals in life.
The strongest single factor in acquiring abundance is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it. ~ Jerry Gillies
So, the next time you are pushed out, literally or metaphorically, dust yourself up and remind yourself that being a "confident you" is not only your individual right and obligation, it's one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Truly, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
Stay Inspired....
NwaVic – | |Twitter & Instagram @nwavicesq

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