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Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Dear NwaVic, My Christian Girlfriend says my Religion is a Dealbreaker
Thank you for writing NwaVic at firstname.lastname@example.org. Gone are the days when marriage or relationships were defined by race, culture, country, social status, tribe, religion, or language. These days, anyone can marry whom they like, nothwithstanding sometimes glaring differences. However, a successful relationship no matter the kind, requires that both parties not only understand their similarities but fully comprehend their differences and its implications long term. Further, both parties need to agree, and continually make an effort to manage it. In your case, your difference in religion bothers her and she doesn't seem willing to forfeit its implications. While it is heartbreaking, it is something you have to understand and respect. As you know, as with some other religions, some Christian denominations even consider marrying someone of another denomination a sin, talkless of someone of another religion. Relationships are complicated already and she may be worried that religious differences will complicate it further, especially with the long distance.
I think it's time you have another serious conversation with her. This time, however, you need to be open-minded. You both should have a virtual face to face conversation (Skype, facetime, etc) to discuss what you each want out of the relationship. This is necessary to access whether you are both on the same page. Just because you've started talking again, doesn't ensure she wants what you want. Listen to her responses. If she needs her time and space, be ready and willing to give it to her. In the mean time, move on with your life. I understand your pain and I realize my advice is easier said and done but trust me, trying to make someone do what they are not willing to do will only cause you more hurt and pain, in the long term. In case you ever need it, here's NwaVic's 7 tips on how to get over a breakup.
Best of Luck,